This year's theme for National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) is #FlipTheScript. It's about changing the conversation to help others understand infertility, learn that it's not just an old stigma, and that it's real. Infertility affects millions of people who struggle to build a family, and the impact is far reaching.
I love that NIAW has a new theme every year; it reminds me of my own "word" of the year. Every year I choose a focus word that helps set my intent for the year. For 2018, my word is “Simple,” “Simplicity,” and any word dealing with simplification. It’s actually part two, because it was also my word last year. I started by purging and decluttering items from our house, just getting rid of stuff and trying to simplify our schedules. I felt like we were always on the go, overloaded with stuff, and constantly overwhelmed.
And now, about a year and a half later, I am at the tail end of decluttering and cleaning out. But I still have one more area that I have not dealt with. Really, I am procrastinating and dreading it. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, but that I don’t want to come to terms with my emotions that are tied to the stuff. What I have remaining to declutter is my maternity clothes, as well as my daughter’s first year clothing and newborn supplies. I’ve gotten rid of big stuff like the high chair, baby swing, etc.; things that we don’t have room to store, and items that I think we’ll get new when the time comes. We didn’t know the gender of our daughter before she was born, so we had a lot of gender neutral clothing. I think I separated the clothing by gender neutral and girl clothing, but right now, I’m really not sure. However, I’m at the point that it’s been four years, and I am not as confident as I was three years ago, two years ago, a year ago that we were going to have another child. I went through all my maternity clothes, and I was able to consolidate and properly fold what is truly essential. I also saved my pump, and stored it with all the pumping accessories and supplies so that it’s confined to one medium size box instead of multiple cardboard boxes. But I have yet to go through her infant clothes. Part of me thinks that if I get rid of the stuff, that I’m just giving up but the other side of me feels like if I don’t get rid of it, than I’m not trusting God in providing for us. It sounds like a silly struggle, but it’s a real struggle. This is what I’m contemplating in my mind as I continue to procrastinate going through the infant stuff. These are thoughts that I literally play Ping-Pong with in my mind.
So, how will I change the conversation around infertility? I will be transparent and vulnerable about my Ping-Pong mentality in regards to secondary infertility. And I'm going to tackle the last of my decluttering! No more procrastinating! My plan is to only keep the gender neutral clothing, and donate the rest. How will you #FlipTheScript?